what a difference a dog makes. I adopted a puppy for my birthday and named him Ziggy. he is adorable as all puppies go - but really he is. i am in the process of crate and house training him. I have difficulty hearing him whine in the crate because he has a very independent personality and does not like being alone. But I know its for the best in the long run. If anyone has any tips in properly training a puppy (without being militant about it) I'd be very happy to hear them. 

destructive feelings have passed. honoring the week of my birth with music, prayer and love. I feel motivated and see a path emerging through the dark wood. God is love, God is truth - I surrender to Love, God and Truth

I am WORTHLESS and proud of it. 

I manifest an abundance of free time so that I can explore on a whim. It can be extremely challenging at times but frankly I couldn't imagine it differently. However I would love to be consumed by single-pointed purpose but the destiny has not yet revealed itself. Is this purpose something I can cultivate? Am I at battle with an inner saboteur or in a state of divine preparation?

what are these tears

Thanksgiving - giving thanks. I recently attended a Buddhist sangha - we meet weekly here in Woodstock to meditate by sitting, walking and then have a dharma talk. The subject this week is "what waters your seeds of gratitude?" 

I attended a workshop with Mark Whitwell, and his partner Juliana, yesterday at Kashi Ashram in Sebastian, Florida. His outlook on YOGA was refreshing and exactly what I had been brewing internally for some time but never manifested it in the external teacher. I wanted to share some key points from this gathering: 1. STOP LOOKING AND START LIVING. In searching we are negating that for which we are searching - in searching for the Divine the implication is that the Divine is absent. Rather the divine is expressed through your own uniqueness and therefore are already divine - search over. Yoga is not about attainment of anything. 2. Asana is the keystone of bhakti (devotion) and the whole yogic practice - pranayama, meditation etc. 3. we don't meditate - meditation is a siddhi - perhaps the accumulated experience derived from proper practice. Sitting peacefully is lovely but this is not meditation. 4. Yoga is Individual and is taught one on one according to one's particular needs - we have lost sight of this tradition in the west and have turned asana practice into a kind of aerobics workout. 5. each person is free to be intimate with his or her own life, and that is the necessary first step to changing the world. There was so much more intimated in this compact 3 hour gathering. If any of this has piqued your interest I suggest picking up Mark's book, Yoga of Heart: The Healing Power of Intimate Connection.

anonymous excerpt from 14th November :: Living in the Passions of the Heart in the New Earth I am going to shift the subject slightly, and share with you some information that came through to me today from Archangel Michael through a private channel, and made so much sense to me about how we are all feeling right now. Many of the letters I get are about relationship energies, and people expressing pain at their inability to "connect" with that soulmate in passionate ways. Or indeed, to find a relationship where they can express their heart energies. This makes them feel sad and lonely and depressed. I often used to wonder why it seemed so important to find that particular partner, and why this was a desire that never seemed to dim not matter how young or old the person was. It seemed to be a soul desire rather than a physical desire. So, here are the words from Archangel Michael about the Passions of the Heart, and how we are still learning how to be in our Passions and hold our Passions in the Heart, before we can fully express them in a powerful Twin Flame or Sacred Union. It makes sense to me, and makes sense of the feelings that I have been experiencing the last few days and the need to be able to express what I was feeling and have it heard and accepted by others. This is an extract from a written channel: The issue of partnership is also one that concerns many people right now. As the Earth moves into her own personal alignment with her Twin Flame energy, humans also feel a deep need to be in that Twin Flame passion. Indeed, the Milky Way Galaxy is currently merging with the Andromeda Galaxy, and the energy of passion and love that flames from that great unified Heart is very strong. Its resonance is felt on many levels, and the desire for Union is part of the great changes and transformations that you are experiencing right now. ..... what you have learned about relationships in this life is not adequate to bring you into a Twin Flame Sacred Union, for that is what your heart desires. You see, the way to create Sacred Union is complete surrender to Divine Will and Power. It is not about looking for the “right” person or the person who attracts you most in a physical or sexual way. There are many people who enter into intense sexual relationships and imagine that this is the energy of the Twin Flame. Indeed, it is not. The passion of the Twin Flame burns in the Heart, and has very little to do with sexuality. It may be expressed through sexuality by two beings who are able to bring the energy down to the physical, and that can be very powerful. In Lemurian and Egyptian times, this was an art that was left to the priests and priestesses, for they were best able to carry the powerful Twin Flame energies in their bodies without being thrown into imbalance. But now, one of the gifts of this New Earth is that all humans are being enabled to create and experience the Twin Flame Union in their own Lives. However, dearest one, so many self-sabotage these relationships because they seek first the material and sexual expression of the relationship before they have grounded it into their Hearts and created the required weaving of Light and Spirit that will hold the relationship. So, what you are all learning, is how to "be", and to create a new kind of relationship, that emanates from the Heart and is expressed through the Heart. Until you can do this, you will find that you will continue to feel as though there is nothing for you, for you will be seeking for something in the “wrong place” as it were. So, what we are saying..... is that in order to attract a partnership of great passion, you have to be able to live and hold that passion in your own life and in your own heart first. Then you will be able to hold the love and passion of another being in your Heart, and then you will create a great and powerful union. You cannot “avoid” the passion and the intensity of intimacy by escaping into work or other addictions, and still expect the relationship to be passionate and heart-based. At this time, you as a people, are still in the learning stages of this energy. Both men and women are still learning how it feels to make a powerful connection through the Heart, and how to nurture and care for that connection. For, once the seed is planted in the Heart, it must be nurtured and cared for every day, otherwise, like any plant, it will wither and die. So, with these new relationship energies, the way to allow the “plant” of the heart to flourish is to water it daily with the energy of Unconditional Love and intimacy. It requires great honesty and openness, and the ability to be vulnerable and to express exactly what you are feeling. For, the other person knows immediately what you are thinking and feeling through that Heart bond, and if they experience anything less than total honesty to those feelings in your actions, then the bond will wither and die. For the Heart only “speaks” in total honesty and in total alignment, the heart and the mind must speak as one, or an imbalance is created and the relationship will not grow and flourish. However, if that intimacy and honesty and openness of the Heart can be established, then the relationship will become one of great power and passion and love. So, .... when you ask about relationships, this is what we can say……you are all in this learning phase, and few of you have yet discovered the power of the Heart and the power of the Passion and Intimacy of the Heart. It is what you all seek, but it is what you have yet to find within yourselves as you move away from the old concepts of relationships as sexual/material experiences to the new paradigm where relationships are powerful and passionate expressions of the Heart and Soul as well as the physical body. Indeed, this is why so many of you are thrown into depression and stress so often, for you feel the energy of this great passion at moments, and then it slips away as you fall into the old patterns of relationship and energy. Indeed, you are all learning, rather painfully sometimes, how to be in the moment of Intimacy and Passion and Sharing, and to be capable of carrying that intensity with Love and Joy in your Hearts and in your body. Dearest one, learn to trust yourself and your feelings. If you feel great Joy, then express it to those who are near you. If you feel great pain or sadness, express that too. In this New Earth, you are learning how to support your own feelings and to support those of others by sharing what you are feeling and thinking with compassion and unconditional love. It is only when you are capable of feeling these powerful energies and expressing them, without falling into anger or into “victim” patterns, that you will be able to hold and express the powerful energies of the “Twin Flame” in all your creative relationships. So, know that you are all learning and that, just as you learnt how to hold these new incoming energies in your bodies, you will learn how to hold them in your Heart and how to balance them and to nurture them through expressing them in honest and loving ways and having them received with openness and love. For, dearest one, this is how passion flows between sacred hearts and loving souls. It is expressed and shared, and in that communion is the Flame of true Creative Energy. It is the dancing of Hearts in the power of Unconditional Love. So, ......we hope that we have been able to show you the process that you are all experiencing as you learn how to be Passionate from the Heart and how to experience the Intense Flame of the Source within your Hearts in loving and supportive relationships. First, within your own Heart, and then by opening your Heart and sharing your already existing passion with another. The other person will not give you the passion or create it for you, it must be there already to be shared in the unfolding of the bond between you, and it must be equal and based in unconditional love.

I awoke from the conversation. Why is he so angry? Where does all of that frustration come from and why can I not distance myself from it? In my head I have asked him a thousand times but I cannot find the words manifest. Frankly, I am tired of constructing this dilemma and story around it and I cannot seem to find the compassion deep within held for any length of time. There are so many more important things in this universe toward which to focus my energy. Wash your hands, girl. Question:: How do we move from the microcosm of our lives into the macro without sacrificing our lessons? When does a Sacred Contract become null and void?

My name is Lucia. I am waving my magic wand wishing for the INNER PEACE and RELATIONSHIP TO SELF that I know is required to be of light in this world. I wish for BALANCE and TRUTH - for as Ghandi says “there is no god higher than truth.” I feel with the cultivation of truth I can vibrate with all that is true in the world and know my true purpose. I also wish for my COLLABORATOR, my co-creator, my inter-dependent mate who will walk with me in this life and help me channel our children into this earthly realm through our LOVE. Lastly I wish for the VISION, WISDOM and the HEART of the enlightened ones so I can see the beauty and goodness in all life, all faces, all circumstances. To all those other magicians out there I support your dreams; may all your wishes manifest!